Pain Nourishes Courage

Often life is painful, but I’m learning that how you deal with the pain thrown at you drastically changes the outcome.

I once read that courage is fear that has been prayed over. Fear is something that often entangles me: fear of cancer, fear of failure, fear of insert whatever here. I believe the most often given command in the Bible is “do not fear.” Somehow this is one of the ones I have the most trouble following.

Sometimes it’s just a matter of recognizing that fear has no power over me. I need to grab hold of that truth and honestly believe in God’s promises.

“For I am the LORD, your God,
who takes hold of your right hand
and says to you, do not fear;
I will help you.” ~ Isaiah 41:13

Sleep is often the first thing to go when I’m stressed, worried and fearful. In part of my devos today I read some Psalms of David and interestingly enough they both mention how David slept peacefully because he trusted God. David had tens of thousands of men after him during a rebellion led by Absalom; yet David knew that he could lie down and sleep each night with God watching over him.

Now as much as I may wish I was sought after by thousands of men, my fears are of a slightly different nature. Still, I need to take serious the command to not be afraid, and do my part to push past fear and grab hold of victory.

Pain, and the fear caused by that pain will only nourish courage if I allow God to work through it.

Selah

Warning Bells

Today started like any other day. Nice gradual waking up, a cup of coffee, starting to claw through the fog so I can become productive for the day, nursing a rather large headache…. All of a sudden panic sets in as I wonder if my headache has escalated to a migraine so severe that it is causing warning bells to go off in my head.

Enter the little sister. “Jenn, can’t you hear that? I don’t know what’s going on!”

We definitely have a problem as none of the three children who are awake at home seem to know what the alarm code is, and our phone lines are down due to some kind of really stupid protective measure. My first thought is of wondering how on earth my other brother is managing to sleep through this. This is no normal alarm system, we’re talking state of the art- there’s whooping noises, flashing lights, beeping, and blaring. My headache has definitely escalated into a migraine, and I’m holding a phone that has become completely useless, meanwhile typing in every code I could think of to shut off the alarm.

Nothing is working, but in a moment of clarity I grab my cell phone which only sometimes works out where I live. Frantically I dial my parents’ numbers (yes numbers, they have multiple ones, though they’re still often unreachable). Of course no one is available at the four different numbers I tried, and as I’m doing this our useless phone starts ringing. Turns out the alarm company has a direct line to us, though we can’t dial out.

Now the task has become much harder. Not only do we have to push past the pain that the horrible alarm noises are making, but we have to convince the emergency guy that it really only will become an emergency if someone doesn’t help us shut this off. “No sir, I swear I’m not robbing this house in my pajamas…. Seriously, I would definitely wear black if I was going to do that, give me some credit!” Somehow this method is not proving to be quite as effective as hoped, so it looks like I’ll be resorting to begging, or at least hoping he’ll have better luck at reaching our parents.

Needless to say, a full out crisis was averted, though I’m still hearing residual ringing in my right ear. Eventually a rep was sent, and after seeing smiling pictures of me all over the house realized that I probably did actually live there and decided to replace our alarm batteries and give us the code.

Now the only question is… where should I hide this great television I scored? Or better yet, why can't we choose something normal as an alarm code?

Half a Century

So my ma turned the big 50 yesterday. Oddly her change in age status has put me on quite the nostalgic train of thought as of late. Flipping through old pictures to put on a slide show had me reflecting on my lifetime. For all its imperfections, I am truly blessed to have grown up in the home that I have grown up in. Looking ahead to the next year of my life, I think exciting things are in store!

Leadership Summit

Once again I’ve returned home with far too much to process. I feel like I’ve experienced a lifetime of learning these past few weeks, and I’m not completely sure where to begin. The leadership conference at Willowcreek church in Chicago was absolutely incredible. The speakers were phenomenal- from the legendary Bill Hybels Pastor Extraordinaire, to Jim Collins the author of the business book “Good to Great,” the seminars were extremely helpful. I realize that through these amazing experiences I’ve been given a lot of experience for my young age. I’ve had the opportunity to be trained in ways that most young people my age cannot even dream up. Somehow the Spiderman quote, “with great power, comes great responsibility” comes to mind. Even better than a movie quote is a quote straight from the Bible in Luke 12:48, “From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.”

I want to live up to my purpose. That could come with a lot of pressure, but thankfully God loves me for who I am, and not what I do. Somehow that makes me want to strive all the more toward the goal. A good reminder that kept coming up in both conferences that I attended was to take care of myself as a leader. I need to put my relationship with God first, or I will burn out or replace my God with my ministry. I need to also find balance in life and ensure that I am taking time away for rest and the things that energize me apart from ministry. I need to keep thinking over the last few weeks, but I am so excited to press on!

Home Sweet Home

Home is a sensitive term for me right now, because I’m not exactly sure where mine is. Ultimately I won’t reach my true home until I die, but for now even on earth home is a little scattered. Part of me still longs for London, yet I definitely no longer have a home there. A lot of me feels like I’m settling here in St. Catharines, yet I know that this is only temporary and that soon I’ll be putting down roots in Guelph.

Anyway, that’s my little rant for the moment. The title got me thinking along those lines, though the purpose of it was actually to state that I’m back in Ontario now safe and sound! I had a fantastic time in B.C.! I really enjoyed hanging out with a group of amazing people. There’s something very energizing about being with people who share the same passion as you, and are willing to sacrifice and work hard to see a dream fulfilled. I also had some great training, and the scenery wasn’t half bad either! I really love mountains; both Abbotsford and Whistler were absolutely gorgeous. The weather was great, cooled off a lot, and I actually wore a sweatshirt most of the time, but it was nice and sunny.

I feel like I learned some things that will really help sustain me in ministry, mostly revolving around striving in my relationship with God. Being there was also a great reminder of why I love the organization I’m working for, and am excited to partner with Campus for Christ in reaching the world.

I also got to spend one night visiting with my Uncle out in B.C. So fun! I got to wander around Vancouver, and get wined and dined along the way. Our last stop of the night was at an ice cream parlour with 218 flavours of Gelato- my dream come true! I sampled mushroom, aloe vera, wasabi, curry, and balsamic vinegar gelato, but finally settled on a chocolate and caramel flavour. In the morning before catching the bus to Whistler I enjoyed a fantastic breakfast, and a walk on the pier in White Rock, named for the huge rock that has been there since the ice age.

Riding the bus to Whistler with the campus staff was amusing to say the least, as it was a lot of fun comparing me and Beth’s awesome experience with my relatives, to Brad and Russ’s very sketchy overnight accommodations. I’m sure they were thankful for the hotel we got put up in for our Whistler stay.

I won’t give a complete synopsis of my trip here, and there are far too many lessons learned and memories to write. But, if you want to hear more, feel free to e-mail me or call me and we can catch up!