Life in Jenneral

Pushing through the Pain

2007-12-16T16:47:00.000-05:00

Some musings of mine from not that long ago... it's funny to look at this and learn from my insights. And it's snowy out and I was bored so I was reading a lot of what I've been writing the last few months... It's rough work, my pure thoughts.

In the Bible there’s a great analogy using childbirth as an example of what can come from pain. Through pushing through (literally) extreme agony (or so I hear) a mother is rewarded with a child.

There are days when I wonder what else could go wrong. Days when I’m unsure of where to turn, or even if it’s worth getting up for the day. Days in which I know will bring heartache as I stand at the grave of another friend or family member. But I’ve increasingly noticed that those days are also filled with an inexplicable joy. Well, not completely inexplicable, I know who and where I draw my strength from. There’s something amazing about having the right perspective. There’s something amazing that comes through relying on a strength that far outweighs my own. Does this mean that I never experience despair or utter aloneness? Certainly not. But it does mean that I can grasp onto a reality that extends beyond that despair and that reaches out to me through my loneliness.

One day during a moment of deep-seated sadness I did what I know I should always do and turned to my Bible. I felt led to read 1 Peter, which ‘conveniently’ deals much with the issue of suffering. It didn’t take long before the tears started to spring to my eyes as I was reminded in verse three that I have a living hope. Something so simple, yet so important. God gave His life for me so that I could have a constant hope, a hope that doesn’t die, but lives. I often think about clinging to hope, or desperately searching for hope. This verse reminded me that I don’t have to search or cling. I don’t need to cling to hope, God has poured it into my heart (Romans 5) and it is living, not something I have to worry will abandon me or head to the grave.

Not only that, but God has given me purposeful pain. You may be familiar with the process of refining gold. Gold is put into fire in order to make it pure, the impurities within this precious metal float to the surface and are skimmed off. Without the fire, the gold would stay impure. 1 Peter also addresses that exact analogy and goes on further to say that though we can’t see Jesus or be with Him at this exact moment, we can rejoice with an inexpressible joy.

Eating Out

2007-02-26T13:44:00.000-05:00

So I was perusing London this weekend and Sunday afternoon I went to an unnamed eating establishment for some good food and good fun.

I picked my meal based on a picture (was an excellent choice) and at the end found out that I got dessert with it! Yum!

I ordered a dessert that was highly recommended by the girl's on either side of me, who I happened to be sharing the dessert with anyway.

When it arrived it did indeed look and smell delicious... here's the fun part, it comes with a sauce that your pour all over the dessert.

I did not listen to the warning bells in my head as I attempted to squeeze the oddly thick sauce onto my dessert. I did however comment to the girls saying, "isn't this sauce kinda thick for dessert sauce." They were too busy drooling over the dessert and just asked me to hurry up and pour it on- so being the obedient girl that I did, I poured it all over.

The best part of the story is that we all took a bite at the same time, including the two boys sitting across the booth from us who had also ordered the same dessert. All I could taste was seasoned butter when I bit into this dessert, and the thought "why on earth do they like this disgusting dessert so much" most definitely crossed my mind.

All of a sudden on of the unnamed girls' comments, "does anyone else taste garlic." We all quickly come to the realization that instead of the dessert sauce it would appear that the kitchen put containers of thick buttery garlic sauce for some sort of garlic bread I hope on our dessert plates.

Needless to say, it made for a good laugh indeed, and a manager came by as we were all squealing about our garlicky dessert and they quickly replaced it, mentioned they wouldn't try that move again, and gave the guy his for free (mine was included in the meal).

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Guelph

2007-02-13T22:40:00.000-05:00

As per requested I'm writing another entry...

It has been a good day, I feel like life is moving in a good direction, and I have concluded that someday I will indeed write a book.

I have a map of Guelph and a map for life, so I'm all set for now!

I think tomorrow will be a great day because I get to be on campus all day, woot woot!

Other than my back being in pain, I am quite content.

Perhaps tomorrow I will write a story about my Valentine Day exploits and the hunt for the giant Guelph chicken!

Here She Goes Again...

2007-02-05T13:04:00.000-05:00

So I haven't posted in FOREVER... I felt kinda weird after so many randoms were reading my blog.

But Alas, I keep thinking of writing again, so a new blog is probably on the horizon...

For now, just so everyone is clear, I'm moving to Guelph.

His Worship

2006-12-05T21:54:00.000-05:00

So it begins...

Last night I watched my dad get sworn in as the 46th (I think) Mayor...

I don't think I'll have much use for his title of His Worship, but I held it together well as I watched with pride as my city got the best Mayor possible for the job.

Congrats Dad... I'm so excited to see the city reborn over the next 4 years!

If my profs could see me now....

2006-11-29T12:48:00.000-05:00

While at Western I was often told how important it is to get my work published. At the time, my profs were probably referring to Scientific Journals since my BSc becomes a lot more useful if I have published work. I guess four years of paper writing has paid off, as I now do have something published. Mind you, it's only partial quotes, and it's in a newspaper instead of journal, but you have to start somewhere!

Though I fully understand that blogs are a free for all in a public domain, it's still a little strange to have strangers being directed to my stories and thoughts. For any of my friends who have no clue what I’m talking about, the link to the article is here http://www.stcatharinesstandard.ca/webapp/sitepages/content.asp?contentid=295724&catname=Local%20News&classif=.

For anyone interested in my profession and why if I'm supposed to be working at Guelph University I'm still in St. Catharines.... as a missionary with a non-profit Christian organization, I have to raise all my own funds to go work full time. If you'd like info on how to help me get there, information on giving is found at http://www.crusade.org/giving/staff.html. If you surf around that site it also has a lot more information on the organization! Feel free to click on comment on this site and let me know if you'd like to talk to me more.

Irony

2006-11-28T13:03:00.000-05:00

Has my life changed since becoming the first daughter?

Yes... the local newspaper had never been interested in my blog prior to my new found status...

Life is funny, but I can't complain.

My life as the First Daughter...

2006-11-23T20:23:00.000-05:00

The other day while talking to an unamed British Columbian friend she mentioned that my blog is "oh so empty." I would agree. There has been so much going on that I got out of the habit of posting, and now it's hard to get back into it. Do I actually attempt to write about my experiences over the last two months? I feel like that would take pages of blog space, and precious time that I don't have. So instead of doing that, I'll just give a brief overview of my life since becoming the First Daughter of St. Catharines without getting into specifics (use your imagination).

Thanks to the soup picture in the Standard (the Standard is our local paper, they had a picture of the McMullan kids and our Dad on the front page 2 days after the election... I was cooking soup), as well as my Dad's handy dandy brochures I apparently am easily recognized amongst customers at pretty much any store or coffee shop. I think that has passed... but it's sufficient to say that I answered more questions about taxes, garbage, recycling, doctors, and flower planters that I would ever care to answer. I have now become the Mayor's personal messenger, and the jury is still out on how I feel about that.

Don't get me wrong, I honestly do appreciate being able to listen to people's problems, and often that means hearing things that I have no control over, but at least am able to listen. However, I think people actually think that be telling me their City problems I can get them fixed faster than a speeding bullet. Again, I'm all up for hearing people out, and even helping when I can, but I can't say I'll be happy when I get to Guelph and take a much lower profile and quite possibly an unlisted phone number.

Mayor Daddy

2006-11-14T23:05:00.000-05:00

Well.... as you can tell I have definitely not had time in the last month to post anything. Things have been fairly crazy around my place, and in case you haven't heard my dad is the new Mayor elect of St. Catharines! We had a good feeling in the last week or two, but I don't think anyone ever expected the victory that he received- possibly the biggest win in St. Catharines' history! Congrats Dad.... it's on to Guelph for me.

Though I Walk Through the Valley

2006-10-04T21:28:00.000-04:00

It has been an extremely "interesting" week.

I don't really have the words to describe it.

One awesome thing- Summit was so fun! I learned, laughed, enjoyed the company of amazing friends, and was reminded of the vision I'm striving toward.

It was a needed refresher admist the chaos that is surrounding me at the moment.

Psalm 23

2006-09-24T21:50:00.000-04:00

Lately, this has been all I have been focusing on. May God grant me restoration and help in my time of need.

1The LORD is my ^(A)shepherd,
I shall ^(B)not want.
2He makes me lie down in ^(C)green pastures;
He ^(D)leads me beside ^(E)quiet waters.
3He ^(F)restores my soul;
He ^(G)guides me in the ^(H)paths of righteousness
For His name's sake.
4Even though I ^(I)walk through the ^[a]valley of the shadow of death,
I ^(J)fear no ^[b]evil, for ^(K)You are with me;
Your ^(L)rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
5You ^(M)prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You have ^(N)anointed my head with oil;
My ^(O)cup overflows.
6Surely ^(P)goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life,
And I will ^[c]^(Q)dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

Amen.

The World is on Fire

2006-09-18T19:39:00.000-04:00

Today while heading to the doctor I was cut off by 3 fire trucks and a police cruiser. Then my doctor’s street was completely blocked off. There was black smoke and flying insulation as firefighters worked to control the house fire down the street. I still made it to my appointment, and I hope no one was inside the house; it was a pretty bad fire.

Be My Escape

2006-09-12T22:13:00.000-04:00

Ever have those days where you just want to disappear for awhile, or hide under the covers for a bit?

I definitely had one of those days.

Nothing crazy happened, just feeling rather overwhelmed.

Thankful that tomorrow is a new day.

"I'm Not the Bride!"

2006-09-09T19:19:00.000-04:00

According to Allison that was the quote of the day given by yours truly to yet another person handing me random booklets on wedding paraphernalia. Mind you, this was after about 6 hours of a wedding show, and a very tired and somewhat hungry Jenn did not want more to carry. Another guy asked me if I was dreaming of the perfect smile for my wedding and I told him, “no, because I’m not getting married.” I think it seemed funnier at the time because I was in a rather delirious state of mind.

Despite the exhaustion, I had a fabulous time, and truly enjoyed helping Al figure things out for her wedding. She looks absolutely stunning in her wedding gown, and I was once again struck by the reality of my best friend of 18 years getting married in less than a year. The best part was seeing her in her wedding gown, but an extremely close second would have to be getting my maid of honour and the bridesmaids’ dresses! They are beautiful and cost less than a shirt that I could buy from the mall. I am still in incredible shock over how cheap these dresses are, and so very thankful!

Time for bed.

When September Ends

2006-09-06T00:28:00.000-04:00

I would quote the song lyrics, but there would really be no point. September does not mean for me what it used to mean. I’ve been feeling a little nostalgic, slightly sad, excited, and confused. As I’m hearing and watching everyone prep for the upcoming school year, and watching the little sister waltz off to highschool in her brand spanking new school uniform, I feel as though I’m being left behind.

I’m supposed to go to school in September- that is what I have done for most of my life. This year there were no new clothes, or new packages of paper. This year I continue on in a new phase of my life, while waiting anxiously for that phase to actually begin by getting to move to Guelph.

All of a sudden things feel weird again, like I’m stuck in limbo, like I’ve lost the familiar.

Maybe things are better this way.

Sinfully Delicious

2006-09-03T16:30:00.000-04:00

Have you ever heard about chocolate being extremely bad for dogs?

Well that’s fairly accurate, though they have to consume very large amounts- which of course, my adorable dog Charlie managed to do. Luckily according to standard lethal dose procedure that I found on the internet, he’s probably in the clear. He’s managed to destroy a carpet by throwing up massive amounts of chocolate, but he hasn’t gone into seizures yet and seems to be sleeping it off.

It got me thinking about the stupid things I’ve done. Clearly Charlie is not high on my “smart dogs I know list,” but I doubt I’d fare much better. Charlie saw something he wanted, my brothers even left it out and open for him, and we all know how amazing chocolate tastes (this was Hershey’s Largest Chocolate bar, I think it’s around 5lbs, though he didn’t eat it all). Little did he know that within a short amount of time, the choice he made to gnaw off the forbidden chocolate would cause him extreme abdominal pain, and potentially death.

I reflected on all the times I’ve taken a bite out of sin because I wanted something, had easy access to it, and it “tasted” fantastic. I’ve never consumed the type of sin that would cause me to throw up my intestines, but I’ve often reaped lasting consequences for stupid decisions made and completed in a split second. Like Paul I’ve often asked myself why on earth I keep doing things I know I shouldn’t…

I’m so thankful that my price has been paid.

Pain Nourishes Courage

2006-08-28T21:56:00.000-04:00

Often life is painful, but I’m learning that how you deal with the pain thrown at you drastically changes the outcome.

I once read that courage is fear that has been prayed over. Fear is something that often entangles me: fear of cancer, fear of failure, fear of insert whatever here. I believe the most often given command in the Bible is “do not fear.” Somehow this is one of the ones I have the most trouble following.

Sometimes it’s just a matter of recognizing that fear has no power over me. I need to grab hold of that truth and honestly believe in God’s promises.

“For I am the LORD, your God,
who takes hold of your right hand
and says to you, do not fear;
I will help you.” ~ Isaiah 41:13

Sleep is often the first thing to go when I’m stressed, worried and fearful. In part of my devos today I read some Psalms of David and interestingly enough they both mention how David slept peacefully because he trusted God. David had tens of thousands of men after him during a rebellion led by Absalom; yet David knew that he could lie down and sleep each night with God watching over him.

Now as much as I may wish I was sought after by thousands of men, my fears are of a slightly different nature. Still, I need to take serious the command to not be afraid, and do my part to push past fear and grab hold of victory.

Pain, and the fear caused by that pain will only nourish courage if I allow God to work through it.

Selah

Warning Bells

2006-08-23T14:34:00.000-04:00

Today started like any other day. Nice gradual waking up, a cup of coffee, starting to claw through the fog so I can become productive for the day, nursing a rather large headache…. All of a sudden panic sets in as I wonder if my headache has escalated to a migraine so severe that it is causing warning bells to go off in my head.

Enter the little sister. “Jenn, can’t you hear that? I don’t know what’s going on!”

We definitely have a problem as none of the three children who are awake at home seem to know what the alarm code is, and our phone lines are down due to some kind of really stupid protective measure. My first thought is of wondering how on earth my other brother is managing to sleep through this. This is no normal alarm system, we’re talking state of the art- there’s whooping noises, flashing lights, beeping, and blaring. My headache has definitely escalated into a migraine, and I’m holding a phone that has become completely useless, meanwhile typing in every code I could think of to shut off the alarm.

Nothing is working, but in a moment of clarity I grab my cell phone which only sometimes works out where I live. Frantically I dial my parents’ numbers (yes numbers, they have multiple ones, though they’re still often unreachable). Of course no one is available at the four different numbers I tried, and as I’m doing this our useless phone starts ringing. Turns out the alarm company has a direct line to us, though we can’t dial out.

Now the task has become much harder. Not only do we have to push past the pain that the horrible alarm noises are making, but we have to convince the emergency guy that it really only will become an emergency if someone doesn’t help us shut this off. “No sir, I swear I’m not robbing this house in my pajamas…. Seriously, I would definitely wear black if I was going to do that, give me some credit!” Somehow this method is not proving to be quite as effective as hoped, so it looks like I’ll be resorting to begging, or at least hoping he’ll have better luck at reaching our parents.

Needless to say, a full out crisis was averted, though I’m still hearing residual ringing in my right ear. Eventually a rep was sent, and after seeing smiling pictures of me all over the house realized that I probably did actually live there and decided to replace our alarm batteries and give us the code.

Now the only question is… where should I hide this great television I scored? Or better yet, why can't we choose something normal as an alarm code?

Half a Century

2006-08-17T16:58:00.000-04:00

So my ma turned the big 50 yesterday. Oddly her change in age status has put me on quite the nostalgic train of thought as of late. Flipping through old pictures to put on a slide show had me reflecting on my lifetime. For all its imperfections, I am truly blessed to have grown up in the home that I have grown up in. Looking ahead to the next year of my life, I think exciting things are in store!

Leadership Summit

2006-08-14T19:43:00.000-04:00

Once again I’ve returned home with far too much to process. I feel like I’ve experienced a lifetime of learning these past few weeks, and I’m not completely sure where to begin. The leadership conference at Willowcreek church in Chicago was absolutely incredible. The speakers were phenomenal- from the legendary Bill Hybels Pastor Extraordinaire, to Jim Collins the author of the business book “Good to Great,” the seminars were extremely helpful. I realize that through these amazing experiences I’ve been given a lot of experience for my young age. I’ve had the opportunity to be trained in ways that most young people my age cannot even dream up. Somehow the Spiderman quote, “with great power, comes great responsibility” comes to mind. Even better than a movie quote is a quote straight from the Bible in Luke 12:48, “From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.”

I want to live up to my purpose. That could come with a lot of pressure, but thankfully God loves me for who I am, and not what I do. Somehow that makes me want to strive all the more toward the goal. A good reminder that kept coming up in both conferences that I attended was to take care of myself as a leader. I need to put my relationship with God first, or I will burn out or replace my God with my ministry. I need to also find balance in life and ensure that I am taking time away for rest and the things that energize me apart from ministry. I need to keep thinking over the last few weeks, but I am so excited to press on!

Home Sweet Home

2006-08-06T14:44:00.000-04:00

Home is a sensitive term for me right now, because I’m not exactly sure where mine is. Ultimately I won’t reach my true home until I die, but for now even on earth home is a little scattered. Part of me still longs for London, yet I definitely no longer have a home there. A lot of me feels like I’m settling here in St. Catharines, yet I know that this is only temporary and that soon I’ll be putting down roots in Guelph.

Anyway, that’s my little rant for the moment. The title got me thinking along those lines, though the purpose of it was actually to state that I’m back in Ontario now safe and sound! I had a fantastic time in B.C.! I really enjoyed hanging out with a group of amazing people. There’s something very energizing about being with people who share the same passion as you, and are willing to sacrifice and work hard to see a dream fulfilled. I also had some great training, and the scenery wasn’t half bad either! I really love mountains; both Abbotsford and Whistler were absolutely gorgeous. The weather was great, cooled off a lot, and I actually wore a sweatshirt most of the time, but it was nice and sunny.

I feel like I learned some things that will really help sustain me in ministry, mostly revolving around striving in my relationship with God. Being there was also a great reminder of why I love the organization I’m working for, and am excited to partner with Campus for Christ in reaching the world.

I also got to spend one night visiting with my Uncle out in B.C. So fun! I got to wander around Vancouver, and get wined and dined along the way. Our last stop of the night was at an ice cream parlour with 218 flavours of Gelato- my dream come true! I sampled mushroom, aloe vera, wasabi, curry, and balsamic vinegar gelato, but finally settled on a chocolate and caramel flavour. In the morning before catching the bus to Whistler I enjoyed a fantastic breakfast, and a walk on the pier in White Rock, named for the huge rock that has been there since the ice age.

Riding the bus to Whistler with the campus staff was amusing to say the least, as it was a lot of fun comparing me and Beth’s awesome experience with my relatives, to Brad and Russ’s very sketchy overnight accommodations. I’m sure they were thankful for the hotel we got put up in for our Whistler stay.

I won’t give a complete synopsis of my trip here, and there are far too many lessons learned and memories to write. But, if you want to hear more, feel free to e-mail me or call me and we can catch up!

B.C. Bound

2006-07-24T02:29:00.000-04:00

I can't believe it's here already! In not much more than 24 hours I will be leaving my home for 10 days to head off to B.C. Time has flown by this summer, so much so that it kind of frightens me. I feel like there's still so much to do before September comes. I'm enjoying living each moment as it comes, and I still have lots of support raising to do in order to make it to Guelph.

For now, it's B.C. Bound for me, and I'm really looking forward to a time of fellowship and refreshment. Today shall be busy as I have lots to organize before I depart, but it will be good. Look out B.C., here I come! I'll be back on the 4th of August, but technically the fifth since I won't get home until well after midnight... so don't wait up.

More than a thousand words...

2006-07-17T23:37:00.000-04:00

Think Tank

2006-07-17T22:49:00.000-04:00

Lately due to a lack of continual contact with people I’m close to, I find that I’m having a lot of time to think.

Thinking can be dangerous.

Overall it has been pretty funny, the most random thoughts cross my mind.

Oh and my dad bought a toaster that cooks hotdogs and toasts the buns in specially designed slots. Yes, that’s right, a hotdog toaster. It doesn’t even fit normal bread.

Life is funny.

Death Chronicles Part II

2006-07-13T14:20:00.000-04:00

Ever had a moment where your life flashes before your eyes? That moment definitely occurred for me last summer while making a routine walk to the Customs’ building from my office.

After experiencing problems with the power lines, and having had our power out for more than an hour, we were in a rush to get paperwork processed. So as soon as possible I made the 1min jaunt over to Customs to drop things off in hopes of getting it through before our clients had to cross the boarder. Little did I know that the fallen power lines behind our office had not been fixed properly.

I was walking through the back parking lot that takes me to the door of the building I worked in when I heard a fairly alarming sound. If I could demonstrate on here, I probably would, but alas, I’m just not that creative with the English alphabet. Basically it was like a crackling and exploding noise, and when I looked above me to see where it was coming from, I saw a flaming power line falling down toward my head.

In that brief moment, I honestly thought I was a goner. I did value my life, so I decided I would make an attempt to save it by running. It was fairly shocking to realize I was still alive when I made it to the door of my office and heard my manager yelling about “them almost killing Jennifer.”

Needless to say, I’m a little wary of power lines- though really, what are the chances of having lightening strike twice?

Death Chronicles Part I

2006-07-11T16:53:00.000-04:00

I’ve had a number of people mention to me that they think I manage to have a fair number of near death misses for a young white girl coming from a small city. We’ll see how long this lasts, but after my brother nearly killed me, him, and our brother John with a gas leak today, I decided that it might be funny to record a few of my “experiences.”

Yes, that’s right. My brother left the gas on our gas stove on, but without ever lighting the stove. So basically we had tons of natural gas pouring into our house, to the point where the smell drifted to my dear room at the other end of the house. I bolted out of there fearing a gas leak (though surprised the smell was that strong), and my brother was standing sheepishly by the stove. Thankfully he had eventually realized that his pot of water was no where near boiling and shut things down with the common sense not to try to light the stove now that we had a house full of gas.

The smell is still strong, but as long as no one tries to light a candle, or make a sudden movement that would cause sparks, I think we’ll live. We’re currently airing out the house even though this probably happened close to an hour ago. It’s fun to be a McMullan.

Beauty in Brokenness

2006-07-10T12:02:00.000-04:00

One of my favourite analogies to recall while I’m dealing with tough situations is that of a glow stick in place of a person. I heard a sermon once on “Glow Stick Theology,” and it has stuck with me, often prompting me to carry a glow stick with me as a reminder of things to come. The premise is that you have to be broken in order to shine, just like you break open the capsules in a glow stick so that they glow.

Lately I’ve definitely felt God leading me through situations that are causing me to remember periods of brokenness, or to be broken in new ways. The exciting part is that I can see the beauty in these situations while in them, instead of looking back on them later. It is great to let God reach me where I’m at, and use each situation as a learning experience that has the potential to make me shine all that brighter.

Through the ups and the downs of the last little bit, God is revealing more of Himself to me. He is teaching me what faith really is. He is showing me how to truly trust Him alone. He is telling me that my self worth comes from Him, not how well I perform, and not what other people say about me. He is helping me understand that though I may be lonely, I am never truly alone.

Last night our sermon at church was on 2 Corinthians 4, and I loved the perspective it gave me. God has given us the treasure of the Gospel to store in us, and likens us to simple jars of clay. We don’t need to be flashy pieces of gold, because through me being a jar of clay it is clear that the all surpassing power inside me is coming from God, and not from myself! It is not about what I do, but about how I follow Him.

Let Your light shine.

Burdens

2006-07-04T23:43:00.000-04:00

I’m in a weird mood.

I feel a deep seated sadness for students at Guelph.

I feel burdened because I want to get there so badly.

I’m overjoyed because of my amazing God.

I’m grieving over lost relationships.

This was intended to be a thoughtful blog, but I’m realizing I just don’t have the words.

Oh lyrics.

“Falling down on my knees, looking for sympathy…. Caught in between all I wish for and all I need.”

Happy 4th of July!

I Don't Want to Wait!

2006-07-01T15:28:00.000-04:00

I love song lyrics, as many a former roommate of mine can attest to, I become fairly obsessive over the ones that really speak to me (Ibs you know you loved hearing the same song being played 50 times in a row)!

Lately I’ve been hearing the former Dawson’s Creek song being played everywhere (haha, especially now that I found a Paula Cole CD at Goodwill). Now, I’m pretty sure my boy will know his father, but the idea of not wanting to wait for life to be over has been getting me thinking a lot.

I’m not a very patient person. I want to know where my life has headed, if I’ll ever get married, if I’ll ever make it to Africa etc. etc. Right now I’ve just been wanting to get to Guelph, and not wanting to wait to get there. It is such a transition time for me, being at home physically, but my heart isn’t really here because I know it is temporary. I finally settled into my room this week though, which has helped.

As I worked through my impatience with wanting to get started on the next chapter of my life, I realized that by not wanting to wait I’m actually missing out on an important process. I’m going to end up skipping a whole chapter by trying to skip ahead. If you skip a chapter in a novel, you often end up missing out on details that the author wanted you to know in order to figure things out, or better understand. The Author of my life has a plan that includes this support raising time period in my life.

This week has been incredible; I’ve been learning so much that I don’t even know where to begin! And though I don’t want to wait for my life to be over, I realize that this too is life and that there’s lots I can learn and have fun with if I focus on the moment.

P.S. Happy Canada Day!

Look Who's Alone Now

2006-06-28T00:25:00.000-04:00

I feel like I heard this song 50 times this weekend, and amidst hearing those lyrics, as well as a series of other events, I did an extreme amount of thinking.

Loneliness is something I often think about. I don’t know why, I suspect it maybe has something to do with the fact that I’ve never really been in a position to be lonely, so I was always very conscious of people who I perceived were lonely. I’ve always been really sensitive, and I would really hurt for seniors if I ever saw them eating ice cream in DQ alone, etc…. When I lost people to suicide, it always hurt so much to think of how alone they must have felt.

I think the last couple of years have taught me something about loneliness. I remember getting on a plane to go to a mystery country in Asia last year, not knowing anyone on my team. I’d come off a particularly difficult 8 weeks of life, and desperately wanted to be close to people who I could lean on. I wasn’t afraid of the trip I was embarking on, but I was afraid to be alone.

I’ve also been someone who has always been pretty comfortable with being single. I’ve had my normal girl moments, but for the most part enjoy having guy and girl friends, and them being less complicated by staying as friends. However I have to admit that over University and as I enter my career stage in life I’ve definitely had flashes of insecurity where I’ve wondered if I’m destined to be alone.

I could go on about how there have been situations where I’ve felt like I’m completely in it alone, but this is supposed to be more of a hope-filled blog J Despite the above situations, God totally came through. Now first of all, I’ve always recognized even amongst the above situations, that God is always there for me- but it’s still nice to have people with skin around. And the amazing thing is that God has always provided (haha, though for anyone gasping in air right now I have not got married, nor am I seeing anyone). But- God has still provided me with amazing people!

On OEX I had a super team, and an incredible roommate who encouraged me to lean as far as I wanted. In every situation and even in singleness, God has given me super friends to support me and to have fun with! Even as I embark on this journey, and head to Guelph where I feel like I know next to no-one, I met some of the team of people I’ll be working with (on Monday) and once again felt like God was providing. They are amazing, and I’m really excited to have them be a part of this time in my life.

So case in point, God provides me with what I need even if I’m slow to recognize. And though the lyrics, “I walk this lonely road…” have occasionally harassed me, it’s just a matter of seeing them for the lie they are- because God has provided me with an amazing family for this journey! Look who’s alone now- it’s not me!

Jennifer Grace McMullan, BSc

2006-06-16T19:28:00.000-04:00

There were times during the past four years that I seriously wondered if I would get to the point where I could walk away with a BSc. Despite the challenges of the last four years, being in Science taught me a lot about perseverance. By persevering through the long labs and challenging exams I managed to make it to my end goal. If I had quit while in the midst of a night of difficult studying, I would have completely missed out on the celebration of receiving my degree. Now at this point in the game I can’t help but wonder if four tough years is really worth a yellow hood and a framed piece of paper. In this case, I feel confident in saying yes. I did learn a lot about Science, and it was great to broaden my horizons in scientific knowledge. But, I think just as, or even more important were the lessons I learned about life and about myself. I feel like I did a lot of growing up during my undergrad years, and I’m amazed at the way God brought me to one place in order to point me in the right direction.

I think I’ll end up reflecting more about this later, as I’m realizing that the severe sleep deprivation I’ve managed to accumulate over the last week is definitely catching up to me. My mind keeps racing ahead, and then all of a sudden it has fallen way behind to where it was two sentences ago. This has been quite the week, I finally arrived at convocation station, got hooded, admitted, and got the Bachelor of Science degree I sweated after for four years. Today, I saw my efforts put toward my dad’s campaign launch come together. We had a great crowd out, and sound equipment and food went well. My dad gave an excellent speech, and though we had a brief loss of a few papers from the wind, he recovered perfectly and all went well. It was somewhat surreal to be sitting and listening to my dad talk about his vision for the city I grew up in, and then heading down to City Hall to file the official paperwork. It was strange being back there after being there so often growing up, and to once again have the media hanging around.

All in all, it has been a crazy week full of nostalgia, stress, smiles, balancing support raising with a campaign launch and convocation, and little room for sleep. I’m somewhat sad to see it all officially behind me now, but mostly excited for what the future now holds. I now hold a degree that is an accomplishment necessary to work full time in a job I love and believe in, another step complete. My dad now holds the papers that are allowing him to take the next step toward a job he also loves and believes in. As I continue ministry partner development, and my dad continues on in his campaign, the slogan he has chosen seems even more significant… “Yes We Can.” The best part about that “we” is that it includes a loving God who will be helping me along the way.

Welcome to the World, Jennifer Grace.

2006-06-10T21:41:00.000-04:00

It would appear that I have decided to take a plunge into the world of blogging. Can't promise how long it will last, or how interesting my entries will be, but I think keeping people posted on my life as it progresses would be a good thing. Considering there have been so many changes over the last couple of months, and will be many more in the months to come, I figured this will be the simplest way to keep people informed, or at least practice letting the creative juices flow.

So, a quick review. After a drawn-out and tearful goodbye to the Forest City of London, and moreso the amazing people I'm blessed to have in my life, I literally got on a jet plane and took off to beautiful British Columbia. There God continued to bless me by putting more amazing people in my life path, and overall the 10 or so days in B.C. were filled with learning, laughs, embarrassing moments (could anyone tell me what day it is?), hockey play-offs, reminders of why I'm getting involved with such an awesome ministry, and some slightly overwhelming realizations. Overall I had an amazing time, and truly enjoyed my time while it lasted.

While in B.C. I was asked to join the Guelph Staff Team, which I’m extremely pumped about! For any of you wondering what on earth I’m talking about… I’ve joined staff with an organization called Campus Crusade for Christ, and will be working with students at the University of Guelph (please call or e-mail me if you’d like more info). I’ve heard great things about the people already working hard at Guelph, and I met lots of amazing Guelph people at training (MET).

After MET I was whisked back to St. Catharines where I promptly dealt with not sleeping for a long time due to a red-eye flight, and then drove to London to pack up my life (I did not have time between exams and staff training). I spent 5 wonderful, yet hectic days in London, frantically organizing databases, sending letters, and packing up my room. I came back to St. Kitts and hit the ground running with support raising, and later took a day trip out to London with my Dad to bring home my furniture and boxed up life.

Support raising so far has been interesting. I have made several realizations, two of which being that I LOVE meeting with people and sharing my heart, and secondly that I really don’t enjoy asking for help. God has been teaching me so much about trusting Him, and then trusting others, surprisingly it can be done; though, my heart still beats fast and I sweat a little every time I have to call someone. But God has been gracious and I’m continually being pushed out of my comfort zone in a good way!

Well, I think that’s enough of a novel for one entry! Catch you later!